People often look at divorce as something with two opposing sides. Both they and their spouse are trying to “win” the divorce. They may do it for emotional reasons and out of spite. They can get so caught up attempting to win that they make mistakes or make the divorce far harder than it needed to be.

In some cases, compromising can actually help. If you give a little bit, your spouse may do the same, and you can speed the process up. You can also take some of the stress out of the equation.

The key is to decide what battles you want to fight and what is most important to you. For instance, maybe parenting time and child custody are your biggest issues. You know you'll be fine financially. You just want to make sure you get to see the children. You want to protect those relationships and the time you get with them.

For your spouse, though, the finances play a major role. They want as much money as they can get. Or, perhaps they have their eyes on a major asset, like the family home. If those things do not matter to you, allowing your spouse to “win” that part of the divorce can make it easier to get them to compromise on the things you want the most — time with your children and the ability to have them live with you most of the time. If you try to win every battle, your spouse will too, and then you may end up not getting anything that truly matters.

Divorce is complicated. Make sure you know your rights.

• Facebook
• Twitter
• LinkedIn